Vibrating Sex Toys

I know what you’re thinking. There is no way this article about sex toys is going to get past the censors. I’m going to write one dildo joke too many, and this thing is going to go right in the trash. There is no way I can keep a girl’s fictional encounter with three different [...]

Ok, so there was this guy named Jeff, and he went around killing giant vibrators. Where Jeff was from, these gigantic adult sex toys had become a bit of a nuisance; such as slowing up the children’s path to school, or making the mail late. These ferocious vibrators would roam the countryside, searching for mischief [...]

Now, if you’ve ever heard the original version of this fairy tale (without the sex toy references) then you will remember that she left something at a ball and a prince retrieved it for her, hoping to match it to the mysterious woman he lusted for. Instead of an article of clothing, let’s say she [...]

Ok, let’s see how I can spin this one. There once was a hero named Pigeon Hood, and his thing was stealing adult sex toys from the rich and giving them to the poor. Pigeon’s philosophy was if he could steal one diamond studded dildo and feed a hundred people, then that sex toy’s existence [...]

Once upon a time, in a land far away (they were cut off from the internet) there was a small town of nothing but women. These women craved adult sex toys, and went to the very limits of their imaginations to build themselves one. One woman tried to fashion a vibrator out of an old [...]

No, this adult toy article will not be about vibrators building houses out of straw or brick. Nor will it feature a wolf blowing anything (and yes, I mean anything) down.  This sex toy adventure will instead be about three little vibrators, and how each one wanted to grow up to be a big vibrator. [...]

Before I continue with the next adult toy article, I just wanted to point out something else I thought of. There’s no way “Little Red Riding Vibrator” would have passed as an applicable title to another article, but I did want to point out I thought of it. I’m pretty sure it would have been [...]

Let’s go ahead and be honest; you’re not going to find a whole lot of fairy tales that involves adult sex toys.  No one has probably tried to write the equivalent of Goldilocks using dildos as the antagonists. No one has tried. That is, until now.
My next series of articles concerning adult sex toys will [...]

Yes, I know the title of this sex toy article sounds like a really bad porno movie.
You know, the original version of this story is almost as messed up as the one I will attempt to tell you here. In the original, there are drugs, violence, and general madness. In my version, I like to [...]